They’ve got me all wrong.
My mom wants to send me to a preforming arts school for acting, and my guidance counselor wants to “get me into julliard” because all I seem to be good at is music.
But they just don’t get it.
I don’t want to be in movies, I want to be the person inspiring enough to make a movie about. I don’t want to live somebody else’s adventure, I want to find my own. I will shrivel up and die if I end up like my mom- stuck with three obnoxious kids, living in suburbia, crazy ex husbands, dreams all gone.
I wan to be able to travel the country with no agenda, just simply to live. I want to meet people- From the suburban housewife like my mother, to the failed burn out middle aged “rock star,” and the “crazy” homeless man living on the corner near the McDonald’s. Maybe even end up like one of them. I want to see what’s outside of this sick cycle of a suburban lifestyle. Go to school, work hard to get into a good college, work at a job that the majority of people end up hating, just to pay for their children to grow up and do the same.
Even if after seeing it all I decide that yeah, maybe it isn’t so crazy- maybe I should just become a soccer mom- I will have at least had time to see what else there was- given a chance to think about my options. Because, right now, I am the most fickle, indecisive person I have ever met. Nothing currently interests me academically, and I have no clue what career I’m going to choose. And knowing me, I will not be able to do so in three and a half years. Three and a half years filled with stress, unnecessary drama and irrational emotions. How the hell are you supposed to figure out your life during the most emotional, distracting time of your life? I don’t understand it.
I want to go out, be free. Have time to meet people and clear my head after the four most drama filled years of my life. I want to beable to tell my kids (if I decide to have any) about my story. My adventure. My own personal movie. I want to be able to encourage them to break out of their boundries. To not be afraid of failing according to other people’s standards.
As long as you’re happy you aren’t failing. That’s how I see it. you live up to your own standards. No I don’t care if you’re disappointed in me because it’s my life. I’ll live it how I want to. I don’t see how you can be disappointed in someone who is satisfied with the life they have. Millions of people aren’t. Go try and help one of them figure out what they want. Don’t scold the people trying to figure it out by them selves- by their own standards. Especially when you try to teach “personal responsibility.”
I don’t want to be perfect, have a great career, or be super rich.
I just want to live.
/cheeseystrssedteenagerrant
